“Perfectionitis”, and it’s partner “controlisits”

don't panicHear then the parable of the sower. Matthew 13:18-23  

The Parable of the Sower hits me hard every time; especially reading this: “As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is he who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy;  yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately  he falls away. “

I know many moms who live with great faith. I can think of one mom who just lost her disabled daughter, while caring for this lovely girl mom never seemed to lose faith, never seemed to lose joy. Her journey as a mom was filled with struggles many of us will never know, but still for her the seed seemed to land on good ground.

For many of the moms with which I have journeyed the tribulations of motherhood can take precedence over God. Every family has problems: children dealing with illness, addiction, emotional issues, and our mothering seems to be on very rocky ground. We hear the word, we may even love the word, but then life comes crashing in on us like a freight train, and it’s all we can do to just hold on!

It’s a very different thing if it is just you are a hearer of the word as a “regular person”, someone who feels as if they are not responsible for the futures of other people: people they help God create. I think then it is much easy to stop listen and receive the word. So why is so difficult for us moms? Some moms, myself included, have “perfectionitis”, and it’s partner “controlisits”. I call it being blind, deaf, and mute to God. For those of us afflicted with “perfectionitis”, and it’s partner “controlisits” we become blind to God by only seeing the trouble, we believe we are the only ones to see the future and it is most often grim. We have a huge time trusting that that there is a positive future. Then we become deaf to God, we are so worried that we are deaf to anything he may be trying to say to us! Finally that leads us to being mute. We don’t speak to him and if we do it’s rare.

Spiritually we are like chickens with our heads cut off. Our emotional headlessness, if you will, comes because we are running around panicked; it may be justified that we are panicked for a while, but we have to stop, look and listen for resources, helps and guide. Spiritually headlessness is much different. The panic pushes the word/God out of us. As in the parable we can hear the word, even rejoice in it, but panic will not let it take root.

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Is a spiritual director working helping moms find God in the everyday. She has been a spiritual director since 1998: worked as a Director of Religious Education for Holy Cross Parish(2000-2005), was Director of Project Rachel, a healing ministry for Post Abortive women(1999-2000). Patty worked a social worker for Catholic Social Services (1988 - 1995) Then studied for spiritual direction at the Dominican Center of Religious Studies, DeWitt Michigan

She is married 20 years and has four children

She has a BS/BA in social work from Aquinas College, CSD Certified Spiritual Director

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