I have something to admit. I have been hiding my light under a bushel basket. Why, you may ask: fear and perfectionism.
Two of the demons that I fight every day and when a little mothering trauma/drama comes into my life I become frozen with fear and crippled by perfectionism. Both of these make me hid. I don’t feel worthy of my calling. These demons can cause real emotional/spiritual damage. They block my/our prayer. They keep me/us from accepting grace, that gift of God which is the unmerited mercy that is the deep Divine love which makes me/us loveable, forgiven and redeemed.
After years of working on the trauma/dramas of rebellious teens, children with emotional needs and gaining victory over the fear that somehow I had created these troubles through my genes. I am stripping away the shackles and chains that perfectionism and fear have bound me, that fear that has said it is all my fault everything that could have gone wrong., that perfectionism that says I must be perfect to be expected. I am stepping out in boldness to accept all God has given me, called me to do and wants me to be.
Now, God uses all things for good and give me only as much as I could do/handle in all areas of my life: mothering, calling, personhood. He guided, guarded and grounded me. Helping me find and create positive solutions for family/life situations and understanding when I didn’t feel like talking with/praying to Him. He was guiding me to resources when I was feeling strong enough emotionally/spiritually to create retreats, workshops and support groups. Today He brought me to a wonderful workshop filled with people who can help me move forward.
It was so exciting meeting up with the daughter of an old friend who had just returned to the area from studying and in Florida. She is now home with a business that specialized assisting small businesses with social media solutions. Something I need now. The workshop leader was a woman who I met four years, she helped me build my business plan and direction I was being called to go: Spiritual Lives Of Women. Now, she is a consultant with a business think tank that helps small business grow. Something I will need soon.
Finally, as I was leaving I stopped to speak with the receptionist. We had so much in common as women, wife, mother, and spiritual person. She was someone who related to what I do and is anxious to help me get the word out. Truly, as I was told by a priest friend of mine this something very needed, NOW!