Sweetheart, fellow mom, you are not alone

Righteous Cause Monday.

10479750_770483182974897_5370651985988896174_nI found this on my Facebook feed about a young mom who wanted to quit being a mom, a blog post from the website “Finding Joy”.

Sweetheart, fellow mom, you are not alone, we, moms of older children, feel your pain, understand your pain, had lived your pain, and survived/thrived and grown as women and people in ways that not being a mom would have given us.  We, moms of older children, know how mothering can feel like you are standing in the tunnel and you see NO LIGHT at the end.  The end is near, just hang in there.

We, moms of older children remember those early days.  It is so easy to be lost in the endless late nights of breastfeeding infants, not getting the sleep you need, constant nappy changes, and laundry that feels like Mount Everest.  It takes a huge toll on you, after a while all that exhaustion can make you feel person-less. Hang in there my dear heart. Please ask for help. Please ask for friends/family to give you a break so you can recharge, get much needed rest.

We, mom who have been there, love you, want you to hold on.  We understand the struggle of toddlers and young children as the role of hormones and self discovery starts to create conflict between you and that lovely little baby you were just beginning to understand.  It feels as if you are starting over, in a way you are, hang in there.  Find support for those times, joining with other moms in the same struggle can give you much needed support and wisdom, creating life long friendships.  There is a reason TV shows like Super Nanny or American Nanny are popular, there is no manual we receive at our babies birth that explain how to be a parent. There are resources to help you become the mom you want to be.  But please I beg you don’t fall into the perfection trap; we, no matter how much we want to, we will never create prefect children, prefect home, perfect life.  We can only create the best life, a better life.

As your children become school aged you have finally a feeling of confidence much earned by all you have learned, survived, created that works for your children, your family.  During this time you may find your child needs help with learning or being, but you now have strength to deal with it.  You will have good friends, good support, more understanding of yourself, your child, your world.

Please know that tweens and teens are again like toddlers.  Again you will face children who want fierce independence, please do not lose heart if things get rough, they will get better as your children mature.
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 “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

Mark Twain

Some things very few will tell you.  There will be great days, months, years, things will be wonderful.994950_10152013871048352_209180184_n  Keep those days in your heart.   They will come in handy when things get touch, they will help you staying in love with mothering, your family, your spouse, at moments when it looks like you are in that early tunnel again.  People will “advice” you on how to raise your children, trust your heart.  As I often say, my mouth is bloody because I was biting my tongue to keep from saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, trust your knowledge of your children to know how to treat difficult times.  There will be times when you will make mistakes, where you feel like just waking up will be wrong; but know love and forgiveness will work wonders.

Know my dear fellow young mom that you are loved and supported.  here are moms all over the world thinking good thoughts for you, saying prayers, sending blessings; we are all in the same boat and want to be a help if you need it.

Prayers for you.

Blessings

Is a spiritual director working helping moms find God in the everyday. She has been a spiritual director since 1998: worked as a Director of Religious Education for Holy Cross Parish(2000-2005), was Director of Project Rachel, a healing ministry for Post Abortive women(1999-2000). Patty worked a social worker for Catholic Social Services (1988 - 1995) Then studied for spiritual direction at the Dominican Center of Religious Studies, DeWitt Michigan

She is married 20 years and has four children

She has a BS/BA in social work from Aquinas College, CSD Certified Spiritual Director

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