The Lie Cross: Sometimes crosses can be forced on you

Watch TV in the last few years and there have been campaign after campaign featuring “real” women.

“Always” has a commercial showing how young women’s views of themselves change from confident preteens who have not bought the hype to young women who did.  It was a Righteous Cause Post of June 30, 2014.

Just a few days ago I read of this: Stop The Beauty Madness As they describe themselves and their campaign:

There is a great groundswell and the numbers are rising daily. We are a new tribe, and we know it is time to take back the streets-OUR streets. We know that begins with lifting our self-esteem, our self-imposed standards of worth, and honoring our deepest truths about what it means to be “enough.”

We are not only working towards this change. We are witnessing this change. We women KNOW we are done with competing, done with comparing, and done with playing the ugly/beauty game. We are waking up from the crazy beauty hypnoses we have been under.

“Dove” did this very evocative video of how we “see” ourselves and how others see us.

What does all this mean?

It means that we as women have forgotten a great truth:  We are Daughters of the Great King.  And we have allowed society to tell us differently.  It’s as if society draped across our shoulders a huge cross as if it were a stole of royalty:  Here you go a cross made just for you; your ugly, worthless, insignificant!  You’re welcome!

It is a cross we as women have allowed ourselves to have placed on our shoulders. It is not a cross we pick up such as illness, or work difficulty, or wondering how to answer our calling; no this is a cross society has said we must have so they can sell us our own beauty back.

It’s a cross I know too well.  I am going to tell you a truth about myself: I hate my growing older self.  There are a lot of reasons that I will blog about, but mostly I feel that being a mom has robbed me of some things and now that my children are growing out of the house as well as gone from the house, I see it as time to try and regain my beauty.

But that is the problem with these types of crosses, they are lies we tell ourselves.

The lie I tell myself is that somehow I am not pretty enough, good enough, woman enough.  I know stunning older women so it’s not age that robs you, it’s you that robs you.  What I mean is we forget, or no longer care about ourselves.  I have allowed the lies in my head about how I see myself to become truths.  I grew heavy because I believed the lie that no-one cared who I was, I was just a mom.  I stopped caring for myself in other ways: How I looked, what I did, my attitude.  All because of the lie: you are just a mom, invisible, “personless”.

The, what I will call the “lie cross”, wants you to believe the lies; because in believing the lies you have to forget to fight for the greater truth, that God has made each one of us beautiful, in his own image.  And that motherhood is a calling of greatness.

Is a spiritual director working helping moms find God in the everyday. She has been a spiritual director since 1998: worked as a Director of Religious Education for Holy Cross Parish(2000-2005), was Director of Project Rachel, a healing ministry for Post Abortive women(1999-2000). Patty worked a social worker for Catholic Social Services (1988 – 1995) Then studied for spiritual direction at the Dominican Center of Religious Studies, DeWitt Michigan

She is married 20 years and has four children

She has a BS/BA in social work from Aquinas College, CSD Certified Spiritual Director

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