Righteous Cause: Fighting to help our teen daughters stay confident

This is a commercial from Always,

but it does focus on a very interesting aspect of growing up female.  It begins with young adult women being asked how it is to do whatever as a girl: throw, run, fight.  Then the same question is asked of young girls, ten and slightly younger.  The older girls when describing or emulating an action fall into the “girlie type stereotype” what it is to be “a girl”, and what they provided was a thought that girls were soft, meek, and more concerned about how they appear to the outside world.

The younger girls did not focus on what others thought of them, but on how to do the best at whatever they were being asked to do.

Somewhere between being a young girl and becoming a young woman we forget that God has made us good, given us talents and gifts that should be used so they, girls/women, and their actions will be a gift to the world.

Somewhere along the way we become convinced of the lies the world tells us about how we are to act: meek, helpless, too “pretty” to do anything

Somewhere along the way we convince ourselves that we just aren’t, whatever – good enough, smart enough, strong enough.

This is what God says of our value: Genesis 2:1-25, Mark 5:21-43, John 4:1-26, John 20:10-16, Proverbs 31:10-31.  In these we see our value.  That we are good. That Jesus did not/does not see women as second class citizens, will defend women, heal women, and include them in his ministry.  He fought against the social convention that women were not enough, less because they were not men.  He rejected that because it was not true, Godly, right.

Psalm 45:11; Psalm 139:13-16; 1st Timothy 5:2 We are the daughter of the King, we are the pearl of great price, we are not to live in fear because we are strong and wise.  We are called to be more than we think we are.  Consider Blessed Virgin Mary, Jael who saved Israel from forces of 10,000 men, Elizabeth, Mother of John the Baptist, The Daughters of Phillip who are briefly mentioned as prophesying in the book of Act; so how can we raise daughters and reclaim for ourselves our right place as daughters of the King 1:

1. Tell Her You Believe in Her – Tell yourself you believe in you

2. Get Her Outside – Go out and climb a tree, experience camping – Do it together

3. Pursue Her Interests – Show an interest in what she is interested in, guide her in her interests, help her focus on positive interests.  See where your interests are and how positive they are for yourself

4. Minimize the Princesses – Show her that strong women can and do do things for themselves.  Compliment yourself when you do something well that is out of your comfort zone.

5. Parent with Empathy – Show her that you understand where is she coming from, but be there to guide and protect her when she needs it.  

6. Help Her Love Her Looks – God sees us all as beautiful.  

7. Sign Up for Sports – Sports are a great way to build strength, confidence and empowerment of self, for both you and your daughter.

8. Show Interest in Her Academics – Be active in her school, show up for events, be “that mom.”  Also show her learning is an ongoing thing.  If she sees passion for a subject from you she will feel comfortable exploring her passions.

1. Samantha Ettus Forbes Woman Contributor 8 Essential Steps to Raising Confident Girls 10/11/2012

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Is a spiritual director working helping moms find God in the everyday. She has been a spiritual director since 1998: worked as a Director of Religious Education for Holy Cross Parish(2000-2005), was Director of Project Rachel, a healing ministry for Post Abortive women(1999-2000). Patty worked a social worker for Catholic Social Services (1988 - 1995) Then studied for spiritual direction at the Dominican Center of Religious Studies, DeWitt Michigan

She is married 20 years and has four children

She has a BS/BA in social work from Aquinas College, CSD Certified Spiritual Director

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