Motherhood Is Where I Both Lost And AM Finding God.

1040101_10151664786836738_19247959_oI understand wanting to have control of your reproductive rights, and soon the arguments about how the Church refuses to let women do with their bodies what they want will begin, AGAIN, an argument that has little merit: Natural Family Planning comes to mind.  But there is a little more to this, that needs to be looked at.

When I was a younger woman, college age, I was a feminist in the Gloria Steinem vane.  This period of my life was what I will call my man hater period, you see I had been raped three times, stalked by a very distributed neighbour, whom I never met but he was sure we were a couple, and just felt as if I had a magnet on my body that said: “Come and get her!”  At that time I would have been one of those in the picture to our left…holding up some sign declaring my womb off limits to anyone but me!  And frankly there was some justification to my feeling abused by men…because I was!  I was protecting the only asset that was truly mine…me; or at least that was my thought!

During this time I was also thinking that the Church didn’t have a place for me and only thought of me as a womb, and let’s be honest ladies that is very true for many denominations even now, so I was mad, very mad.  It took a long time to let go of all that anger and still on rare occasion it will rear it’s ugly head.

Now we get into the wonderful world of different perceptions, attitudes and values.  How many of these women have history’s like mine in the picture?  How many just don’t believe will never believe that its a baby.   How many have been made to feel less that human by a pastor, rabbi, priest that talked to them as if they were just a walking womb?

My mind was changed the moment I became a mother, the moment I knew I was pregnant.  I was surprised, overwhelmed and very upset; it wasn’t in my plans; but could I do that this little person?  No, I couldn’t.  This experience was life changing in a very deep sense for me.  A true shift in consciousness.  I was suddenly conscious of someone else’s presence in ME.  It was as if this unknown child, this was 28 years ago before ultrasound became the rage, before it was common to know who was coming into the world, wanted to be here, needed to be here,  the only thing I knew that there was someone in there; my womb was rented and I wasn’t going to evict.

This mind shift/soul shift, started 28 years ago, has taken many forms, but always toward the more positive.  The more I began to realize that my life was mine, but now had a deeper commitment to it because of a child, I felt more in control of myself because now I had to think of more than just myself.  I was truly a co-create with God!  Now it took awhile to come to that realization and understanding of it’s power in my life; something I have much clearer vision on now that I am on the other side of mothering: mothering our adult children, mothering other younger moms on this journey, but still a revelation to true spiritual-emotional power.

Motherhood/mothering is a strong commitment to life, my life, my child(ren)’s life.   It was a stronger understanding that now I was a mother; a mother that has journeyed through issues and attitudes about myself and my thoughts on motherhood.  Motherhood is where I both lost and AM finding God.  Motherhood is where I am finding myself, realize that I am a powerful spiritual person, that I am a Daughter of God, Priest, Prophet and Queen!  Through mothering and the modeling that is inherent to it, I am working toward creating a healthier, stronger, wiser me…the me, the mother, God has called me to be; all those years ago..even though I didn’t understand it clearly…then.

Is a spiritual director working helping moms find God in the everyday. She has been a spiritual director since 1998: worked as a Director of Religious Education for Holy Cross Parish(2000-2005), was Director of Project Rachel, a healing ministry for Post Abortive women(1999-2000). Patty worked a social worker for Catholic Social Services (1988 - 1995) Then studied for spiritual direction at the Dominican Center of Religious Studies, DeWitt Michigan

She is married 20 years and has four children

She has a BS/BA in social work from Aquinas College, CSD Certified Spiritual Director

5 Comments

  1. Anytime….I loved the blog…and you and your wife look so happy…as parents and as a mom and spiritual director, I feel we all need to share our wisdom and hope to each other…Jesus sent the disciples out in groups/pairs for a reason!

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