Sometimes it feels like I have been sold MT 18: 25

Being someone who is plagued by depression, much like Saint Paul, this Gospel strikes a chord with me.  The Gospel’s focus is on the forgiveness of God.  We see the master who has a servant that owes him money, he can not buy it and the Master is angered by that and threatens to sell the man and his family to repay the debt.  The servant begs forgiveness and the Master’s heart is softened.

The servant relieved of his debt goes home but on his way he sees a fellow servant who owes a small amount and immediately goes off on the fellow servant and demands his money!!!

Being someone who, for whatever reason, always feels its my fault for whatever happens.  I am always on pins and needles about what I have done wrong.  My dear hubby and I have a communication system that takes into account my need to be prepared before I can hear what he has to say.   I am the fellow servant who is owes the money.

I always live with the feeling that the other shoe will soon fall;  the depressed version of Chicken Little:  the sky isn’t so much falling as trouble is always coming and ITS MY FAULT.  

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