“Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.” (John 14:27)
God gave us emotions as tools to help us live better lives. Fear is an important emotion, one of those emotions that controls our actions, keeps us from doing things that could cause great harm; that is the positive aspect of fear. But it is most often the negative aspect of fear that many of us will have to deal. In our childhoods we were controlled by fear from those with whom we wanted to love us most: parents, teachers, family members. The use of fear was thought to be the only way to control children, if they fear they will obey. But what does that fear really do; it stripes away trust. How can we trust someone that makes us debt who we are, stress us over something that we can not do well, and be anxious about how well we will be perceived: will we be good enough? This causes us to get anger and as children we have no way of expressing that, dealing with it or understanding why we have it, so we push it down so we will fit in.
Our childhood situation becomes the basis of our adult anger, anxiety, stress, doubt and it can be the basis of our parenting. As young mothers having children is a new experiences that causes us some concern of how well we do it. Raising children can become stressful when our children begin to have their own thoughts on how they should be “handled.” We become anxious that we are being the prefect parent, raising the perfect child. Parenting in this state of fear creates the situations we do not want. It drives our children to do those things that we have constantly told them not to. Our parenting becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
To be free we must ask ourselves the hard questions and look at the hard answers about what is that we fear, and why we fear it.
It is not until we completely understand the fear that is blocking us that we can become free enough to be the Priest, Prophet and Queen we are called to be.