Tag Archives: patty perkowski

FYI Wednesday: Prayer and Personality

It’s FYI Wednesday and I have asked fellow Catholic moms for questions that they might have on such topics as motherhood and spirituality, children’s spiritual development, finding time for yourself, or just to learn more about Spiritual Direction; here is the latest question asked by Michelle:

I would like to know more about prayer and personality


A wonderful question!  Here is a booklet I have written on Prayer and personality.


I hate ___________

Jesus’ hands holding the pearl

Mommy Mantra July 30, 2014: JER 15:10, 16-21, MT 13:44-46
Jeremiah is lamenting the birth of Israel, but there is also relief if Israel seeks out God and works to better. In the Gospel we hear a shorten version of Sunday’s Gospel.
I see a link between the two readings. The Gospel speaks of the Kingdom of God and how wonderful it will be, so wonderful that we will want to do anything, pay anything, work in anyway for that Kingdom.
But flip it on its head and think of it as this: Jesus loves us so much that he will do anything, preach, teach, heal; pay anything, the ultimate price of dying on the cross, and work in anyway to bring us to God, show us how much he loves us and how special we are to him.
Jeremiah’s first verses: Woe to me, mother, that you gave me birth! A man of strife and contention to all the land! Haven’t we often said something like this at times, especially when things go wrong, when circumstances change drastically, or life “just happens”. “This is so ___________, why I am even here!” “This sucks ___________, why am I always ___________!” I hate ___________, I wish __________________, never happened!”
In the scripture the Lord answers and says that if there was grace to be had through repentance. The Lord than says: “If you bring forth the precious without the vile, you shall be my mouthpiece.” I hear something mothering here, something that helps us with our own calling and with our role of Priest, Prophet and Queen, something that can give us perspective.
Do we need to remove the vile to bring out the precious by:

    Repenting for something: unloving acts, thoughts, words and deeds?
    Ask for healing?
    Working toward justice?
    Finding resources that will help us learn, work, or create a better life, better health, better living?
    Letting go and letting God?

Bringing in the Gospel we can see that Jesus thinks of us as that great pearl, buried treasure, and that is important; because if we stay as we see in Jeremiah: hidden in fear, sorrow, anger; we become buried, yet our great price still shines.
Today, let’s pray that we find our great price, understand how we are the treasure Jesus will do anything to get.

Saint Martha Novena

Isn’t it easier for us to confront, question, have a deep conversation with someone we know so intimately?

Mommy Mantra July 29, 2014: Memorial of Saint Martha
If you read the first few verses of Jer 14:17-22: “Let my eyes stream with tears day and night, without rest…” In the first reading Jeremiah laments over the sins of Israel and worries that God has abandoned the nation.
JN 11:19-27 or Luke 10:38-42 are the options for the Gospel today. Both of them are stories of Martha and Mary. The first relates the death of Lazarus and how Jesus raises his dear friend from the dead, and the second of how Mary gets all the pleasure of spending time with Jesus while Mary has done all the work.
Doesn’t it sound like life of a mom. We mourn over troubles, situations, and trails of mothering. Haven’t we all lost beloved family members and wish they could be with us on more time? For us as moms, especially those of us who have lost our mothers, we want our greatest supporter, source of wisdom, source of love with us once more to give us the strength we need.
And the story of Martha missing spending time with Jesus that is in Luke, isn’t that something we have felt ourself: I have kids now and no time for God.
Today we remember Saint Martha, the sister of Mary and Lazarus, we understand Martha because she, like us, is an “ordinary” woman, maybe a mom we don’t know, seeking God during her life. We can relate to her because she asks Jesus how fair is it that he wasn’t there when her brother died and when Mary gets to enjoy her time when Martha has to do it all.
She is a fearless woman being able to confront Jesus with questions of personal justice. She is fearless because she has a very intimate personal relationship with Jesus. Isn’t it easier for us to confront, question, have a deep conversation with someone we know so intimately?
Today let’s pray for such a comfortable intimate relationship with Jesus that we can ask those “what the what” questions and demand satisfaction.

Sweetheart, fellow mom, you are not alone

Righteous Cause Monday.

10479750_770483182974897_5370651985988896174_nI found this on my Facebook feed about a young mom who wanted to quit being a mom, a blog post from the website “Finding Joy”.

Sweetheart, fellow mom, you are not alone, we, moms of older children, feel your pain, understand your pain, had lived your pain, and survived/thrived and grown as women and people in ways that not being a mom would have given us.  We, moms of older children, know how mothering can feel like you are standing in the tunnel and you see NO LIGHT at the end.  The end is near, just hang in there.

We, moms of older children remember those early days.  It is so easy to be lost in the endless late nights of breastfeeding infants, not getting the sleep you need, constant nappy changes, and laundry that feels like Mount Everest.  It takes a huge toll on you, after a while all that exhaustion can make you feel person-less. Hang in there my dear heart. Please ask for help. Please ask for friends/family to give you a break so you can recharge, get much needed rest.

We, mom who have been there, love you, want you to hold on.  We understand the struggle of toddlers and young children as the role of hormones and self discovery starts to create conflict between you and that lovely little baby you were just beginning to understand.  It feels as if you are starting over, in a way you are, hang in there.  Find support for those times, joining with other moms in the same struggle can give you much needed support and wisdom, creating life long friendships.  There is a reason TV shows like Super Nanny or American Nanny are popular, there is no manual we receive at our babies birth that explain how to be a parent. There are resources to help you become the mom you want to be.  But please I beg you don’t fall into the perfection trap; we, no matter how much we want to, we will never create prefect children, prefect home, perfect life.  We can only create the best life, a better life.

As your children become school aged you have finally a feeling of confidence much earned by all you have learned, survived, created that works for your children, your family.  During this time you may find your child needs help with learning or being, but you now have strength to deal with it.  You will have good friends, good support, more understanding of yourself, your child, your world.

Please know that tweens and teens are again like toddlers.  Again you will face children who want fierce independence, please do not lose heart if things get rough, they will get better as your children mature.

 “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

Mark Twain

Some things very few will tell you.  There will be great days, months, years, things will be wonderful.994950_10152013871048352_209180184_n  Keep those days in your heart.   They will come in handy when things get touch, they will help you staying in love with mothering, your family, your spouse, at moments when it looks like you are in that early tunnel again.  People will “advice” you on how to raise your children, trust your heart.  As I often say, my mouth is bloody because I was biting my tongue to keep from saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, trust your knowledge of your children to know how to treat difficult times.  There will be times when you will make mistakes, where you feel like just waking up will be wrong; but know love and forgiveness will work wonders.

Know my dear fellow young mom that you are loved and supported.  here are moms all over the world thinking good thoughts for you, saying prayers, sending blessings; we are all in the same boat and want to be a help if you need it.

Prayers for you.


Spiritual Question to Ponder: Valued Reason

Yesterday’s Gospel Jesus speaks for the merchant who sells everything to buy the great pearl, the farmer who finds treasure in a field who also sells everything to buy it, and the fishermen who hauled in every type of fish and works to provide the best, every example of someone who gives up everything they had to obtain the greater prize.

How many of us say: “I would give anything for_____________.”  Often these types of questions are flippant.  I wold give anything for a cool drink, said on a hot day.  I would give anything for you kids to be quiet, said by a mom in desperate need for some quiet time.

In this Sunday’s Gospel that question of “I would give anything for” was said by those who see the great benefit of the pearl, the field, haul of expensive fish, and that value was well known: I would give anything to know Jesus, obtain the Kingdom, be a better a person.

So, what is your: I would give anything.

Leave it in the comments below


Mommy Mantra July 25, 2014: 2 COR 4:7-15, MT 20:20-28

We are afflicted in every way, but not constrained; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our body.

Have you seen this symbol lately, maybe on Twitter or Facebook used to replace your friends profile picture, and do you know what it means?

‘N’, or ن in Arabic, is the symbol used by the Islamic State (IS or ISIS) to identify who is a Nazarene – a Christian. It has been drawn on doorways and in front of houses in captured Iraqi cities, allowing militants to quickly assert where the loyalties of the inhabitants lie.  ~Christian Today

If ever there was a time when Scriptures speak to us, for me the reading of today is that time.  On Sunday our Pastor spoke of the war brewing in the Middle East, the war between Israel and Palestine.  But at the same time extremist Sunni Muslim factions drove Christians out of the historic city of Mosul, where members of the faith have lived for the past 2,000 years. They were told to either flee the city, convert to Islam, or pay a tax for the right to be a Christian. Those who refused now risk death “by the sword”. From

Several years ago we had a young man come speak at our Church, selling Christmas ornaments, Advent Wreathes, all made from wood from that area, and women in the village; all in a hope of collecting donations for their Church.   This young man related the trouble they were having with the Sunni in the area, but as Americans, I think we all sat in our pews thinking well it will blow over, don’t worry; wish we had taken this young man more seriously.  Now there are no more Christians in the area, no more Catholics to celebrate the Life of Jesus in the very area where Christ walked.

Jesus asks the mother of the sons of Zebedee who approached him, did him homage, wishing to ask him for something: that her sons be given the seats on Jesus’ right and left.  But Jesus says he can not give them that honour, and asks them instead if  they “Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?”

The former citizens of Mosul are surely drinking of the cup.

Let us pray for all those who are drinking the Cup Jesus offers.


Vatican Radio: The voice of the Pope and the Church in dialogue with the World

Mom Blogs today’s parables-Resource Thursday: Mary Lenaburg’s Passionate Perseverance

Today the readings speak of God’s message being presented to the world through Jesus’ parables and Jeremiah’s 2: 1-2:

The word of the LORD came to me: Go, cry out this message for Jerusalem to hear! I remember the devotion of your youth, how you loved me as a bride, Following me in the wilderness, in a land unsown.

The message of God is still being cried out for all of “Jerusalem” to hear.  Many of these messages are coming in the forms of Tweets, Facebook Pages, Instragram uploads, and so on.  I compile much of this information for myself, for my own edification, but thought why not share what I have with you?

I am sharing a blog I feel is a wonderful example of how mothering can be a vocation that changes us profoundly, but how that profound change is ultimately making us strong, compassionate, wise; more than we ever thought we would ever be.  Here is the blog I wish to share The Passionate Perseverance by Mary Lenaburg
She describes herself as:

“…a Catholic blogger limping along the spiritual road somewhere between Holy Hannah and Snarky Sinner. Married twenty-five years to her first (and only) blind date, Mary has two adult children, one of whom has significant special needs. When not dealing with the crisis du jour, she aims to create Parisian-inspired meals on a Walmart budget in her 1968 cramped cottage kitchen, can sew a mostly-straight seam, and has recently learned her green thumb is actually black.
As she seeks joy among the dirty dishes and laundry piles, she lives a vocation that is one-hundred percent God-given, grace-filled, and exhausting. She thanks God daily for the caffeine and chocolate which keeps her sanity intact and tries to live by the motto, “Be nice to your kids because one day you may need an alibi”. If she’s not snapping photos of her daily life, she’s writing about faith, family, fashion, fiction and crazy days here at Passionate Perseverance.”
busy mom

What? Me? No Way, I Am Too Young!

Mommy Mantra July 23, 2014: But the LORD answered me,
Say not, “I am too young.” To whomever I send you, you shall go; whatever I command you, you shall speak. Have no fear before them, because I am with you to deliver you, says the LORD. Jeremiah Chapter 1: 7

That sounds so much like when we learn that we are going to be a mom for the first time. For one split second we say: “I am too young.” But God says “to whomever I send you”, or what ever child I send you, you shall go, become a parent; whatever God commends/what you speak will be how we love our children, raise them well is what we will do.

Have no fear before them. Don’t be afraid to be a strong mom. Because God has delivered us from the childishness of our past to our better nature as a parent.