How ’bout no longer being masochistic

Can you drink the cup that I drink Mark 10: 38 I listened to the Gospel today and the song “Thank You” by Alanis Morissette came to mind:

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

The moment I let go of it was the moment
I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it
Was the moment I touched down

We all have that cup which we must drink.  This cup is bitter and unpleasant.  Often it is a cup forced on us that we must drink and what we do with it is the important thing.  Jesus is telling his disciples that he is going to his death.  Jesus will be stripped, literally and figuratively, of all that he is.  He will become empty, a new vessel in which all the sins of the world will be poured out.

When this song first came on the air I was in the mist of working on, as our eldest twinnie calls it, my issh,(issues).  In my mind the old tapes were running and I was in the process of rewriting them all.  You know those tapes?  The ones that tell you, you are nothing, worthless, useless, a loser, ugly, a whore, a witch…the list could be very long.

My process took a long time and had moments of true clarity.  I needed to empty that cup, (myself), of all the lies it contained before I could refill it with the truth of who I am and what I was being called to do.  When you are in the middle of your issh, you can not do anything else.  Your issh is all there is, it occupies valuable space that should be filled with life, love and hope.  You have to be there to empty yourself of the lies, the hurt, the woundedness.  But you can not stay there, live there, to do so will kill you; emotionally and spiritually.  To stay in your issh will destroy those you love.  To give your issh away to give it to those you love is to give a time bomb of pain.

Jesus was telling his disciples you have no idea what you are asking yourself when you say you can drink this cup! It is one heck of a responsibility!  Its one heck of a responsibility to be willing to work on your issh, to make it part of you but not consume you.  To learn the lessons from your issh.  There are always lessons; God does not abandon us!  He guiding us, transforming pain into the reality that we can live with.  Always take from your issh only the positive, letting God have the negative.

Its one heck of a responsibility as a Mom  be there for your children, and work on your issh without involving your children.  Know that your children will be caught up in your issh but by how much is up to you.  Will you give your children your issh to carry for the rest of their lives or will you say: Enough!  I will not longer listen to the lies I have been told about me by the very people who should have told me how wonderful I was, how talented, what a gift my just being is to the world.  By battling your issh you teach your children that life is what you make of it, that trouble, sorrow, woundedness is not YOU, it does not define You.  Together with God, you define and create the TRUE you are called to be!

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